The wrong woman will do way worse to drag a man down than the wrong man will do to drag a woman down.— Keiko (@LawyerGirlMiami) March 7, 2019
The right man will do way more to build a woman up than the right woman will do to build a man.
Honestly, it’s not that often that you can talk advice about women from women at face value.
Not even because they are intentionally trying to sabotage you.
Sometimes they are, but often, they don’t even understand what is going on in their own heads.
They say the things that sound right, even while acting in complete contradiction to the advice being given.
But back to the tweet above.
When you are even slightly considering marriage, this is extremely important.
Linking yourself to a damaged woman can spell disaster for you.
I do want to take a moment to clarify that this damage may not have been the woman’s fault at all, but unfortunately, that doesn’t matter in the end.
Women who have been abused, bipolar women, women who have never had people in their lives to tell them the truth about the world, women who have never had to do difficult things for themselves.
They will drag you down eventually, even if it takes years.
Part of the reason I feel compelled to write about this.
Men are told everyday how “toxic” masculinity is. These messages are delivered in entertainment, the media, government, the workplace, and just about everywhere else you can imagine.
The same masculinity that would allow a man to stand up to this kind of woman is portrayed as bad.
So most men aren’t equipped to deal with this kind of damage.
While at the same time, women get messages that whatever they feel is ok.
They can do anything that they want without consequences.
Anyone that tells them otherwise is just a member of the “patriarchy”.
So when a bad man becomes a weight on a woman’s life, endless people will show up to provide her support. Friends, family, white knights… all will be there to hold her up.
When a woman becomes a weight on a man’s life, he will be told that it’s because he’s not supportive enough, or he’s not a woman so he can’t understand, or even that the reason she’s like this is because he is not a man.
(Parenthetical aside: if your woman started out relatively balanced and not previously damaged as mentioned above and things go bad, some of these things may be true)
To the second part of the tweet, a good man will work tirelessly to build up a woman, no matter how hard she fights it.
He’ll expend all his energy and resources to help her, and she probably won’t appreciate it.
Often, a women won’t do the same. In fact, she may be a little disgusted that her man is so needy, or requires her to build him, up.
But the most important part of this tweet is the last line.
Understand what you are getting into.
Man or woman, you will never be able to fix another person.
That can be a hard truth to face, especially if you are a naturally sympathetic/empathetic person.
You feel guilty for leaving them because of what they might do.
But you can never fix them.
What are your thoughts on this? Have you experienced it? Do you disagree?
Share in the comments.